Thursday, May 26, 2011

Why do we do things even if we're scared of them?

Last Wednesday I did something I was afraid of doing. I presented during a forum, in front of maybe 80+ people. I did it because I was asked to do. But I do not like presenting in front of people. I hate it because I get scared. I get nervous, even if I know what I’m talking about. The unfortunate thing is, I need to do it as part of my job and I do it at least once a week. So I do it anyway.

I love riding roller coasters! But just right before the big drop, I get scared. I am actually afraid of heights! I’d get a wave of panic, every time. Like, EVERY TIME. But the rush I get after is worth being scared, so I’d do it again, and again, and again!

I am scared of failing as a mother.  I remember telling a college friend while jogging around UP more than a decade ago that I think I don’t want to have any children.  I was scared that I will not make a good mother.  Then she told me, how I can not want any children, when it’s the greatest fulfillment of being a woman.  That made me pause but it didn’t ally my fears. Fast forward to now – I am now living a life with a (not so) little girl who means the world to me. Every night I go to sleep worrying if I am doing the right thing but I never regretted being a mom. I can’t imagine life without my daughter.

I am such a scaredy cat. But I guess there are reasons why we do things even if we are scared of them.. Because there are things greater than fear. A sense of duty. A sense of adventure.  Love and love of life.

Except if it’s great fear, like dying. And hell. So for sure, I can never kill myself. :)

P.S.
And cockroaches. Promise, that’s it!

2 comments:

janie said...

Taking concrete action against our fears is probably the best way to conquer it. Here's to facing our fears!

Grace said...

Cockroaches! ;)) Can't forget UP theater for that... ;)

I totally agree with you in what you wrote. See you soon, friend...